Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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