dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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