I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
