That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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