you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
