Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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