Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
