The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
