Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
