Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize