That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
