Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize