I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I will pee on everything he values.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
