used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
