Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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