Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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