So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize