Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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