508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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