Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize