I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
