My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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