The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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