you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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