He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
