It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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