Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize