Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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