Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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