if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
