I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i now understand why vodka
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
