You work out of a Hotel?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
