he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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