ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I bet he comes in French.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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