Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
