Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
