It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
