Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
