my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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