Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
