Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
