I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
