He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would fuck him just for his dog
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
