that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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