Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
