i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
