New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
