okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
