Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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