Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
