where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
