Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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