I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
