Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
