ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
